That title is a throwback to the 80’s. Anyone remember that show???
One of these days, I’m going to write a book that isn’t a sweeping, realistic, Christian romance novel. Instead, it’s going to be a sweeping, captivating, non-fiction book about all the pictures that the Lord has given me over the years. It’s kind of crazy the way He chooses to reveal Himself to us. I do not hear Him audibly very often, but there is an ‘inner-audible’ voice that I hear almost daily, and often with it comes vivid images of what He is communicating.
There is a song from the new Bethel album that I can not listen to without crying. It is such a beautiful anthem of truth, and it gets me every single time. I listen to the album sometimes while I’m cooking, and I end up standing in the kitchen with a butcher knife in my hands, sobbing. I’m sure my neighbors are concerned about me.
As I listened to the song yesterday, the Lord started to download a new picture revelation to me, and the tears came hot, and fast.
This lyric, “There wasn’t a day that you let me fall . . .” it kills me every time.
The picture that the Lord showed me was of a little girl, falling off a cliff. As she fell, she reached up toward something on the cliff. I never saw what it was, but it was insinuated that it was something unsatisfactory that she was longing for. Something that she thought would define her and give her purpose, something that might save her, thus the reaching. But still, she fell. What she couldn’t see was that there was a giant hand underneath her, actively catching her as she fell. Moving with her as gravity dragged her body to the ground.
This is a picture of all of us, every day. We actively seek out the things that we think will give us purpose, that will define us, that will save us, that will tell us who we are. Sometimes they’re things that are negative, sometimes they’re not, but all the time they are unsatisfactory and insufficient.
All of the struggles that you deal with, all of the negative thoughts and emotions that you cling to, that you reach out toward, all of those stem from a lack of true identity.
(Remember, God speaks in bold. 😉 )
These issues that I have been walking through for the past 5 years, the ones that I helped walk others through a few weeks ago at our retreat, and will continue to as long as the Lord allows me to, all of these things stem from us not knowing who we really are. We fight, cry, worry, curse, judge, and fall apart because we don’t know who are true selves are.
The act of walking through healing and breaking agreements with lies is the very act of discovering our true selves, the person that God created us to be. Every time we break down a lie in our lives and replace it with the truth, we start to see the person that God intended us to be.
Going back to the image though, we don’t see a girl who knows who she is. We see a girl who is still reaching for that which she thinks defines her, and in the meantime, the Father’s hand is still holding her, still guiding her safely to solid ground, even though she doesn’t know it.
You guys, stop here for a minute and consider God’s grace in this picture. She is not choosing Him. She is choosing something other than what He meant for her, but He still does not let her fall.
How in the world can this be?
Because in His unfathomable grace, even when we aren’t living it out, the Father see us as who He created us to be. He doesn’t see our weakness and our failure. He doesn’t respond to us as sinners or as broken individuals. He responds to us as our truest selves.
I. Can. Not. Deal.
I really wish we were sitting face to face so I could see your expression when this revelation grabs your heart like it grabbed mine. Even in our deepest despair and when we feel the farthest from the Father, He sees our beauty and is holding us as close as ever. How can I not fall deeper in love with Him? How can I stay silent when I have received this priceless gift?
God, you are so good. Your love for me is indescribable — I think I am really starting to grasp, for the first time ever, that I can not understand how far, how wide and how deep your love is for me. It is completely overwhelming, and I want to give you praise by surrendering myself and submitting myself to the Julie that you have created me to be. I want to live up to the beautiful creation you have painted in my soul. Thank you for knowing me, even when I don’t know myself and I try to define myself with things that will fade away, that will never last, and that can not compare to who you are in me. Thank you for catching me, even when you’re not the one I’m reaching for. You know me. You. Know. Me.
I ask for you to continue to call out my truest self, and I ask for the ones reading these words right now, that you call out their truest self. That you speak the truth over their hearts and defy the lies of the enemy. That you would resurrect those hopes and dreams which they believe have been slain, pushed down and covered up by years of insecurities and hurts. Breathe your healing into their broken places, and show them who you’ve created them to be. Show us who we really are.