The light at the end of the tunnel is now the light that illuminates my day (except that it’s currently 5:30 in the morning and totally dark outside.). I’m done. It’s done. We’re done.
Yesterday I approved the final proof for Stones of Remembrance and ordered my first shipment of books.
I think that sentence just needs to stand alone for a minute, don’t you?
For the past 3 mornings I’ve been jolted from my sleep hours before my alarm is set to go off and I’ve been unable to go back to sleep, for the most part. At least this morning I got one extra hour of sleep. There is just too much excitement, too much stress, too much anticipation for sleep. I’m surprised how many trains we get in our area between 4 and 5 am.
This whole process has been like a dream. Sometimes nightmarish, but, also sometimes euphoric. I can see the Lord’s hand on it from beginning to end (and I’m saying that in faith because let’s face it, this may very well just be the beginning of my crazy. I now have to convince the world that my book is worth reading . . . dun dun duuuuuun.). Sometimes I have wondered just how it will all work out, other times I’ve laughed as things have just fallen together in exactly the right places.
“Faith is not believing that God can, it’s knowing that He will.” -unknown
I think that I live mostly in the “God can” part of that sentence, even though He always has. When I sat down and started writing four years ago I had absolutely NO idea what God had planned for this book, I just had to write. That’s all. I read some novels and had this crazy desire to create, and then it seemed like I couldn’t stop. I wrote Stones of Remembrance in a year. The next two books were written in a week each (my fingers were on fire.). There are others that took longer, required more of my heart, like Stones did, and still more to be written. It’s amazing to me that I spent a good 10 years not writing at all when now it’s one of the only things I really want to do. I’ve committed to myself not to start anything new until I’ve gone back and perfected the ones that I already have. But now here I am, with a physical copy of my book (a proof copy with mistakes, let me tell you!) beside me. My name up in lights, so to speak. People are reading the e-book right now (well, maybe not RIGHT now . . . I’d rather you all be sleeping peacefully, since I can’t!), and I am gearing up for my release party on Friday.
This. Is. Crazy. Who said I could write a book? Who said I could publish it? Oh, you know, just my Father, my Dad. He loves me like that.
The past 2 months have been a brand new kind of insane for me, and I probably won’t really feel the sigh of relief until I receive those 5 boxes of books at my front door and see the finished product. I won’t let that illuminating light touch my face until that day. Then it will really be done. Then I will sleep (but, please, Jesus, can I sleep tomorrow too?).
Oh, and if there are typos . . . well, there will always be typos.