There’s been a flurry of activity over here as I get accounts applied for and papers signed. Each day brings me closer and closer to the release of my first novel, and I am still reeling from it all! Last week I sat down and organized the names of all of you wonderful people who have supported the book into the Perk Categories, and I was once again flooded with amazement at the outpouring for support and love for my dream! WOW.
God has really surprised me with this passion and the follow-through that I’ve had for this project. I become overwhelmed by big tasks sometimes and cower in fear, but I have continued to power through all of the overwhelmingness of the past few months and I am only a few steps away from making my dream a reality!
For my thirtieth birthday (which wasn’t that long ago . . . ) my husband had friends give towards a trip to London to record a song I wrote about human trafficking. A friend of ours who is very involved in the fight against human trafficking lives there and has access to some, “important people” in the recording industry. Unfortunately, that has yet to happen. We didn’t raise quite enough money for a trip to London to record with our friend, but that money is still earmarked for recording, and we will probably instead record in Colorado with friends there, but the time frame on that has yet to be determined. The Father quickly pushed publishing to the front of our priority list, and with as much as I’ve written in the past 2 years, we have hardly touched our music at all. It’s the season for novels, I suppose, and that’s fine by me since writing fiction gives me a high that writing music does not.
It’s ironic because music was always where I thought I’d end up, it has been my dream, my passion and at times, my definition. When the Father showed me how overly important it had become in my life and that it was proving to be to my detriment, suddenly opening my mouth to sing in front of people, be it performing or leading worship suddenly didn’t matter at all. It’s a gift that He’s given me, but it’s not who I am.
Writing is the same. It’s a gift, and in this season it’s what He wants me to do, but it’s not who I am. I am a daughter, first and foremost, and it doesn’t matter what I do day in and day out, that fact will never change. I will always be His.
I guess my point in this post is that I always thought my life would turn out one specific way. I would be married with children, and I would be a singer, in some capacity. Today I sat and thanked the Lord for all that He has done for me, that He has given me absolutely everything (of intrinsic value to my soul . . . I don’t have a horse or a VW bug. . . 😉 ) that I’ve ever asked for. I have an incredible husband who continues to surprise me with his wisdom and love, two of the handsomest little boys you’ll ever meet who are full of life and personality. I also get to sing still, and lead worship often, even though it’s not the most important desire of my heart anymore. And then there is this writing thing, that I never asked for, never expected, but that gives me so much life. That was the surprise. It was a pretty good one, and even if my novel doesn’t take off or hit any kind of best-seller list, the joy is in the writing, and sharing with friends and family who love me, and see value in what I have to say.
Thank you for seeing value in me. I’m continuously overwhelmed!