I wish I hadn’t confessed that my absence on this blog is usually due to a spiritual dry spell. Now every day that goes by that I don’t have anything to say, I think to myself, they know the truth.
I’m not in a dry spell right now, I’m in more of a holding pattern and let me tell you, I’m okay with that if the alternative is upheaval and turmoil in my personal life. I am still trying to figure out the balance here and to release the pressure from myself when I feel like I don’t have a lot to say.
The expectations I put on myself last fall when I began platform-building caused me to shut down for a while and every time I thought about blogging, I cringed because 1.) I felt that I had nothing to say, and 2.) in my head everyone was standing around waiting for me to post (yes, I know this is dumb and incredibly self-centered). The pressures multiplied every time I thought along those lines.
I’ve vowed that while this blog is a safe space for all of us to come together and work through our junk, it’s not a place where I will come and dump, so I’m giving you one more reason for silence on this page, and I know it will shock you: sometimes I have nothing to say.
There is so much noise in our lives, even if it is mostly in what we are reading online. I don’t want to add to your noise. I would rather be silent than force words that no one needs to hear, and I’m giving myself permission to do so even though it is totally against what blogging culture dictates I should do. When I write it’s because there is something in it for someone else, not just me. From the feedback I received from a number of you on this post, that is what you value about this blog.
This may be a throw-away post to some of you, but for me it’s an important one to post. The past three months have been a total buzzkill on my writing process. Today I’m throwing off the shackles of pressure and expectation and allowing myself room to breathe and post when the urge hits, not because a schedule dictates that it’s time.
Aaaah, that feels so much better.
So now I’m going to ask you to join me: Take a minute and consider an area in your life where you are feeling pressured. What can you do to release yourself from it? If it’s something you can share in the comments, please do. As much as my process has been a help to some of you, your process will be a help to someone else!