Parenting is such a hard job. I was so naive and clueless back when I was dreaming about having and snuggling babies. I never really thought about what it would be like to actually raise those babies. It’s painful and excruciating while heartbreakingly beautiful and amazing all at the same time.
I’ve never known such a perfect metaphor for the Father’s love however, than this parenting gig. So many times in the past few years I’ve followed through on a discipline or a reward for my kids and been stopped in my tracks and reminded of the nature of my heavenly Father’s love for me. It’s a beautiful thing.
In the past month or so, Salem has run into a really difficult situation with a person in authority over him. At first we weren’t too concerned about it, it was a one time thing and it seemed like a misunderstanding. We encouraged him to remain respectful and be careful of his actions and sent him back into the situation. Every day since that first day, things have escalated to the point where yesterday we had to pull him out of that situation for the safety of his heart and the safety of the other person involved (because mama bear was about to go ape). Every day as he came home and described what was going on, Rocky and I would discuss it and continue to encourage him to be the best version of himself he could possibly be in the situation. We knew that what was happening wasn’t his fault because, while we are well aware of his flaws, the accusations coming from this person were completely out of character for him. Anyone who knows Salem would hear these accusations and scoff at them. I teetered on wanting to step in and say my piece (loudly), but Rocky felt we needed to wait it out and give Salem the chance to overcome.
Yesterday happened and I found myself absolutely livid about the way my son was being treated. There is no reason in the world why he should be targeted and belittled the way he has been in this instance and it was affecting not only him but his little brother too, who bore witness to every single offense. When they both came home crying yesterday, we knew we’d reached the breaking point and Rocky got on the phone immediately and I sat upstairs and tried to not to break things, while simultaneously trying to undo the emotional damage that had been done to my kids. There is no resolution yet, except that we have decided to remove the kids completely from the situation and I am making slight adjustments to my day to accommodate what is necessary.
Later on I said to Rocky, “I feel awful that we let it go on as long as we did.” And he replied with, “I don’t. I don’t want to be the parents who rush in the instant that something happens. They need to learn how to cope, they need to learn how to fail, they need to learn to overcome.” I nodded even though my heart was still grieved. Salem, in my opinion, acted in an exemplary way considering what he was dealing with. He was so hurt and angry, but he fought hard to control himself in the midst of the situation and let his anger out at home. He dealt with the embarrassment and unfair treatment like a champ. He is no stranger to overcoming hard things.
This morning I processed through the situation and the way we handled it, and how even thought it’s not the most convenient thing for me, and it’s going to cost me an hour and some gas money, none of that matters when it comes to protecting my kids from emotional abuse. I heard the phrase, “It is my pleasure to rescue you,” in my head, and it resonated so deeply in my spirit. Yes, of course. I will absolutely give up that hour and the few bucks gas to rescue them from this horrible situation. It’s not a big deal for me to swoop in and snatch my kids out of that space.
And then, as is typical, I heard the tone change. “It is my good pleasure to rescue you, Julie.” Suddenly my memory flashed back to some of my darkest moments and the months of struggle that surrounded them, the thousands of prayers that I prayed, begging for rescue, and I heard Rocky’s voice say, “they need to learn to cope, to fail, to overcome.” Yes, of course.
There are things we have to struggle through. There are failures we have to experience. There are hurts we have to heal from. All of these things are for our growth and to teach us how to be more. But there comes a time when we reach the end of ourselves and there is nothing left in our power to do. There is no more self preservation or defense that we can squeeze out of our hearts and in those moments, the Father reaches his hand down to us and says, “It is my good pleasure to rescue you.” And then He does. Sometimes it takes us a full year to realize that it really was Him and nothing else. That He was the one who fixed it for us, and that the when it seemed like He was ignoring or abandoning us, He was letting us grow. He was allowing us to struggle and fail because it was good for us. Because He had a plan, and that plan was for His glory to be revealed.
I’ve never been so thankful for the rescue that He provided me, and I’ve never been so thankful to be able to be a parent who can rescue her child. We will always be here, whether he is failing and at the end of himself, or succeeding and taking on the world. We will let him
fall and learn to get back up, but we will also rescue him the minute it becomes necessary,
If you are struggling right now, if you are failing and desperate for a rescue, be still and know that He may let you fall and learn to get back up, but He will also rescue you the minute it becomes necessary. I promise He will because He loves you deeply and He does not fail. He is faithful because that is His nature. He doesn’t have to be faithful, He just is, and that will never change, because He does not change.