The last few years have been consumed by an intense journey down the healing path, as you well know if you’ve read more than three of my blog posts. I’ve been rediscovering who I am in the Father and I’ve been learning how to walk with the Holy Spirit in a deeper way to achieve a new level of freedom in my life.
The intensity of this season has seemed to die down a little lately, and I don’t believe it’s because the work is finished, but because it’s time to walk the freedom out. It’s time to try on my new shoes and take the first steps in them. It’s time to practice what I’ve been preaching to myself, and to rule my thoughts. It’s as difficult as it sounds.
The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy, and when his plans get thwarted, he is none too pleased, so he amps up his attack — or at least he tries to. What he really does is just continue to throw the same garbage at us that he always has — he doesn’t have a lot of tools in his belt. He comes with a familiar spirit and tries to taunt us back into our chains, back into the lies we used to find holding us back. “Nobody wants you here, you don’t have a voice, everyone misunderstands you, she’s so much better at this than you . . .” The lies go on and on, and even though we know we’ve broken free from those chains, sometimes it’s so easy to get lost in the pattern again, and start living and believing those lies again.
The big one for me lately has been that I am misunderstood. I struggled with that on a general level in high school, it wasn’t just the words coming out of my mouth, it was my entire life that was misunderstood, by just about everyone, it seemed. The truth was that I didn’t even understand who I was at that point, I mean, it was high school. Who understands themselves in high school? Lately, because of the glorious internet and the magical little device we hold in our hands all day long, it’s become even easier to be misunderstood. Right????? Sometimes I despise technology . . .
I found this quote on Pinterest a few weeks back, during a time I was feeling particularly misunderstood:
Aaaaaah. That feels so much better.
What this quote says to me is that there may be times when I do or say things that are out of my character, but I have people in my life who know me, and refuse to believe the worst about me. Even when my words or actions need to be called into question, they choose to believe the best, and they know that my heart is never set on wounding or causing destruction, and they also have the permission to call my words and actions out when needed. That’s something I call Spiritual Family, and it’s something I cherish deeply.
Who has permission in your life to keep your words and actions accountable to who God created you to be?