There have been so many occurrences in our life where my husband has started our phone call with, “Guess what?” and the ‘what’ is bad news. Every time he does that, my heart plummets before I even know what he’s about to say. I finally asked him to stop doing it a couple of weeks ago because of the roller coaster ride I go on every time I hear those words.
About two weeks ago he called and while he didn’t start it with a “guess what?” his words still made my heart plummet.
For a long time, we have hoped that if anything were going to change with our current living situation, it would mean that we’d be moving back to Colorado. I have dealt with a lot of stuff with the Lord as it relates to holding on to this hope, I have picked it up and laid it back down many many times. I have now put roots down here in Fort Worth and I have invested time and effort into relationships that have become very special to me. Still, the idea of going to Colorado has always been at the edge of my mind, and should the option come up again, we would have jumped at it without a thought.
Back to that phone call. “So, I was just offered a promotion at work – except we’d have to move. To Austin.”
It would have been that easy for me. Besides being the coolest places in Texas (I’ve never actually been though, so I’m going on everyone’s word.), it holds nothing of value for me. I know no one in Austin. My kids are happy here, I am happy here and unless it’s Colorado, where we already have a built-in family and support structure, I have zero desire to leave where we are now.
I cried and cried and cried, I got mad and made phone calls to people who would hear what was really going on in my heart in regards to the situation, and they all called out the Julie that they know, even though I really didn’t want to hear it at the time
The hardest part for me is leaving the school that my kids are at. In an effort to make friends and be more visible at school, I joined PTA halfway through last year and it has become one of the best parts of my day to day life. I have made friendships in my neighborhood that have changed my mind about how easy it would be to up and leave – especially in light of this Austin news.
Then there are my kids, who are thriving at school, my little Kindergartner whose already the #1. Heartbreaker of the year, their amazing teachers and all of the friends in the neighborhood they’d have to say goodbye to. Every time I even considered tearing them away from all of that, I lost it.
The night Rocky told me the news, I had a dream where my he and I were going somewhere — into battle, on a trip, I’m not sure, but we were supposed to be on horseback and we were supposed to be together. In the dream, I was in a pasture watching Rocky ride off into the forest without looking back, leaving me behind. I scrambled to get on my horse but for some reason I was holding a barbeque knife with a really long handle in one hand, a glass of wine in the other and something soft like a stuffed animal under my arm. With my hands full, I couldn’t get on my horse properly. To top that off, the saddle was loose, and when I tried to tighten it in spite of all the things I was holding, my horse (who was known to me in the dream, and wasn’t known as aggressive) turned it’s head, clearly upset and intent on biting me if I came near him again. I looked at the absurd things in my hands and then watched as my husband disappeared into the trees, pressing on in the journey without me.
The meaning of the dream was pretty clear: There is a journey ahead of your family and you have to let go of all the things you’re holding on to in order to prepare for it, and join your husband, who’s already well on his way.
It took me over a week to really hear the Father’s heart about this decision, and it came through a text from a friend, and was then confirmed by two other friends over the next few days. It’s not just about what He has for me, or for my boys, but also about what he has for Rocky. For the first time ever, he has the opportunity to receive honor for being exceptional at everything he puts his hands to. This is such a big deal for him, and as his wife, I want him to receive it all. He has worked so hard for this family, he has been through so much to take care of us, and he is excited about this.
Austin would be a fresh start for the Presley’s who have experienced and grown so much in DFW. Austin, from what everyone says, is more our pace, and is apparently as beautiful as Texas gets, and if there’s anything I need, it’s natural beauty that is so lacking here on the whole. Austin would be an adventure. This was never part of our plan, but we have said for a long time, “Lord, we want what you want.” Apparently, this is what He wants.
So we are moving to Austin. The plan is that our kids will finish their first semester here in Fort Worth and then after Christmas we will be moving to Austin for the next chapter of our lives. In the meantime, I will still be moving forward with getting “Nor Forsake” published in the spring of 2014. Please, please pray for us during this time. We will need a lot of grace for each other over the next few months as we get our house ready to show, to sell and to move to a city where we have no idea what to expect. We are nervous, excited, sad and yet very hopeful. We know that the Father has the very best for us, even when we can’t see it or understand it.